


Of Rabbits and Russians

by Bittersweet



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Animal Transformation, Carolina Hurricanes, Easter Egg Hunt, M/M, Pittsburgh Penguins, Rabbits, Russian good luck charms, Washington Capitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bittersweet/pseuds/Bittersweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At an Easter egg hunt at the Lemieux's Sidney is turned into a rabbit after eating a chocolate egg. Certain Russians are involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Rabbits and Russians

The day was bright and sunny, not a hint of clouds in the sky and little more than a breath of air stirring the grass and the leaves on the trees. The entire team and their families were gathered at Mario’s house and the sound of laughter filled the air as they hunted for the Easter eggs that Mario and his wife had hidden throughout the yard.

“Almost there Sid!” Geno called to him from the bottom of the old maple tree that Sidney was currently three quarters of the way up because Geno had said he saw something brightly coloured in its leaves.

“I don’t think Mario would have put anything up this high,” Sidney called back down dubiously. This was supposed to be for the kids after all, he didn’t think the Lemieux’s would risk any of them getting hurt trying to climb this tree since Sidney had needed Geno to give him a boost to reach the lowest branch.

“Please Sid?” Geno pleaded still staring up into the branches.

Sidney sighed and kept climbing. He didn’t know why he even bothered objecting to Geno’s plans, he would do whatever the Russian wanted anyway. He reached the branch that Geno directed him to and stared in surprise when he saw a bright pink and purple striped egg nestled in the crook between the branch and the trunk. He picked the egg up. He guessed it was a chocolate egg since the colouring was due to the foil wrapper that covered it, and climbed carefully back down to the ground, dropping lightly from the lowest branch.

“How did you even see that up there?” Sidney asked passing the egg to Geno.

Geno’s eyes crinkled slightly with laughter. “Like Superman Sid.”

Sidney smiled though he wasn’t sure whether Geno meant himself for spotting the egg or Sidney for climbing up and retrieving it. “Yeah. Where do you want to look next?”

Geno looked around the yard then gestured at a row of lilac bushes. “Here,” he said walking towards the lilacs, Sidney following.

They had to dodge around two little boys who ran past giggling madly as Mario’s dog chased them barking excitedly. They searched through the bushes for maybe five minutes before Sidney found a large gaudy yellow egg, the plastic kind that held candies or toys. It was easily twice the size of he one Geno had spotted in the tree.

“Lunch is ready!” Mario’s wife called from the back porch.

“Trade Sid,” Geno said holding out the purple egg as they started walking over to join the others.

“Why would I do that?” Sidney asked.

“Russian tradition,” Geno said solemnly. “For good luck.”

Sidney was sure Geno was pulling his leg but he grinned and passed Geno the yellow egg, taking the purple one in return. “Hopefully that luck will get us another Stanley cup.” He peeled the wrapper off and popped the chocolate into his mouth. A tremor ran through him and the world tilted, sky spinning above him. Something landed on his head and he struggled to free himself. He got his head out from whatever was covering it and looked around. Before he could notice anything more than a strangeness to the colours, Mario’s dog was running at him, barking. A tremor of fear rushed through him and instinct kicked in, telling him to run.

He could hear his teammates shouting as he zigzagged wildly around the yard the dog hot on his heels but he didn’t dare stop. He darted into the bushes, hoping that the dog wouldn’t be able to follow him. He crouched at the back of the bushes his heart slamming against his chest. The leaves in front of him rustled and he jumped forward with a shriek and bit down as hard as he could. He tasted blood and a second later heard Fleury swearing. Sidney released his hold on Fleury’s hand and darted back into the bushes.

“He fucking bit me!” Fleury said wrapping his bleeding hand in his shirt.

“You scare him,” Geno scolded. He crouched down in front of Sidney’s hiding place. “Is okay Sid,” he said soothingly. “Dog is gone.”

The sound of Geno’s voice helped Sidney calm down and he crept out of the bushes, marvelling at the furry brown paws that had been his hands, and let Geno pick him up. He twitched nervously and hid his face against Geno’s arm. He relaxed a little as Geno pet his head.

“Aw,” Sutter said. “Who would have thought Crosby would make such a cute rabbit?”

Sidney flicked his ears in annoyance but didn’t lift his head.

“I’m a little confused. How is he a rabbit?” Maatta asked. “I mean, I know I saw it happen but…”

“It happened,” Mario said gruffly. “How is not important. Who’s going to take care of him until he turns back?”

“I take him,” Geno said.

“What about Jeffrey?” Fleury asked sounding worried despite what Sidney had done to his hand.

“Jeffrey know Sid,” Geno said dismissively.

“Yeah but…”

“I doubt Sidney would let anyone aside from Geno or Mario take care of him anyway and it’s probably more peaceful at Geno’s.” Orpik clapped his hand on Fleury’s shoulder. “Come on Flower, I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

 

Sidney enjoyed the ride back to Geno’s. He sat on Geno’s lap and looked out the window at the streets of Pittsburgh. He discovered that he couldn’t see anything that was red or pink, those colours instead appearing as varying shades of grey, but all the other colours showed as clearly as if he was still human. Sidney hopped onto the passengers’ seat when they pulled into the driveway of Geno’s house to make it easier for his teammate to get out then hopped back over to be picked up.

Geno cradled him against his chest as they walked up to the house, shifting Sidney slightly so he could hold him with only his left hand, pulling his keys out with his right.

Jeffrey started barking at the sound of the key in the lock and Sidney tensed.

“Is okay Sid,” Geno said pushing the door open. “Sidet Jeffrey.” Jeffrey sat instantly and stared up at them, tail wagging frantically. “Khoroshiy malchik. This Sid Jeffrey,” Geno said switching back to English, probably so Sidney could understand, a gesture which Sidney appreciated. “He is friend not food.”

Sidney kind of wished Geno was still speaking Russian at those reassuring words and tensed as Jeffery jumped up, bracing his paws against Geno’s hips and sticking his nose in Sidney’s fur. Jeffrey dropped back to the ground and barked once.

Geno grinned at Sidney. “See? Jeffrey know.” He walked into the kitchen, Jeffery following at his heels, and set Sidney down on the counter before turning to pull some lettuce out of the fridge.

Sidney balked at the unsanitariness of sitting on the counter and slid off onto one of the stools, his claws skittering on the granite.

Jeffrey barked and Geno turned back around just as Sidney slid off the counter. He squawked and lunged forward to grab Sidney, dropping the lettuce in the process. His foot slid on the lettuce and he crashed into the stool, knocking it to the floor and twisting to catch Sidney before he suffered the same fate. He landed on his back on the floor, clutching Sidney to his chest. Sidney could feel Geno’s heart pounding.

“What are you doing Zhenya?”

They both looked up at the unexpected sound of Ovechkin’s voice and Geno got back to his feet, wincing a little. “What you doing here Alex?”

Ovechkin shrugged. “I was in town. What’s with the rabbit?”

Please don’t tell him, Sidney tried to pass the thought on to Geno.

“Is Sid,” Geno answered.

Ovechkin stared at him for a second then had to lean against the counter as he started laughing.

Sidney attempted to glare at Ovechkin but discovered that rabbits weren’t really capable of glaring. He debated getting Geno to put him down so he could bite Ovechkin’s leg but Geno had started petting him again and it felt so nice he chose to ignore Ovechkin.

“Crosby’s a rabbit?” Ovechkin said after he finally managed to stop laughing. “How’d that happen?”

“Sid ate chocolate egg,” Geno said sadly. “Then poof, rabbit.”

“Any idea how you’re going to get him changed back?”

“Mario says not to worry, will turn back.”

“Yeah but…” Sidney didn’t like the way that Ovechkin hesitated. “This may have happened before but it’s usually caused by emotional turmoil. I’ve never heard of someone turning into an animal because they ate something. You two aren’t still in denial about one another are you?”

Sidney let out an annoyed squeak and looked up as Geno’s grip tightened around him. Geno was glaring at Ovechkin.

“We’re fine,” he muttered loosening his grip again and Sidney nodded in agreement.

“Okay, it was just a thought. You can’t assume that this is just going to end on its own though.”

“What do you suggest?”

Ovechkin shrugged. “Give me a couple of hours. Stay here with Crosby, I’ll call when I’ve found something.”

Sidney was still trying to figure out why Ovechkin would be willing to help him, or why he’d even been there in the first place, a few hours later when he was curled up on top of Geno on the couch watching a reality show in Russian. They’d both eaten salad for supper. Granted Sidney’s had had a few less ingredients, but he appreciated the gesture none the less. Sidney’s ears twitched towards a sound at the door and Jeffrey jumped up from where he’d been lying on the floor at the end of the couch and ran out of the living room. A second later the doorbell rang.

Geno got up and wandered over to answer it, carrying Sidney with him. The door opened and Sidney snorted. Ovechkin was standing there in a beige trench coat and matching fedora with a pair of Calvin Cline sunglasses obscuring his eyes despite the fact that it was almost dark.

“Bring the rabbit and come with me,” Ovechkin said mysteriously.

“Inside Jeffrey,” Geno said grabbing a pair of sneakers and following Ovechkin to where his car was idling on the street after locking the door.

Sidney tried to roll his eyes, another thing rabbits apparently couldn’t do, as Ovechkin passed Geno a pair of sunglasses which Geno put on without hesitation.

“What about Sid?”

Ovechkin grinned and passed him a third pair of sunglasses which Geno perched on Sidney’s nose as Ovechkin put the car into drive.

It wasn’t a long drive, only about fifteen minutes before Ovechkin pulled into an underground parking garage. He flashed the lights three times before turning the engine off.

“Whatever you do don’t turn around,” Ovechkin said.

“Why?” Geno asked as he adjusted Sidney’s sunglasses again to keep them from sliding off.

The door to the backseat opened and someone slid into the car. “Do you have it?”

It was too dark to see but Sidney thought the accented voice sounded familiar.

Ovechkin nodded and passed a brown paper bag into the backseat. There was a rustling sound as the paper bag was opened then closed again.

“Good. I’ve left what you asked for on the back seat.” The door opened suddenly and their mysterious visitor disappeared.

“What is it?” Geno asked turning his head to look.

“Not here.” Ovechkin started the engine again and drove back to Geno’s.

Sidney watched curiously as Ovechkin opened the small square package on Geno’s kitchen table and pulled a cellphone out of the bubble wrap. He exchanged a look with Geno as Ovechkin hit a button, obviously calling a preprogrammed number, and started speaking to quickly in Russian for Sidney to follow. He hoped Geno would say something if Ovechkin was involving them in anything illegal.

“Pizza will be here in ten,” Ovechkin said hanging up.

“What about Sid?” Geno demanded.

“Patience Zhenya we’re making progress.”

Sidney doubted that but since he wasn’t in any position to argue he restricted himself to a dignified snort and rested his chin on the table to nap until the pizza arrived.

“What next?” Geno asked around a mouthful of pizza. It was almost midnight and Sidney was still a rabbit.

“We go here.” Ovechkin peeled a piece of laminated paper off the bottom of the pizza box and showed them a map that had been drawn on it. What was clearly supposed to be Geno’s house was marked with a green arrow and the words “you are here”; another building was marked with a red X. Nothing about the map looked to scale to Sidney and he suspected that the only reason Ovechkin would be able to use it to lead them somewhere was because he already knew how to get there.

“We go now,” Geno said abandoning his half-eaten slice and standing up quickly, catching Sidney just in time to keep him from falling off his lap.

Ovechkin nodded and the three of them hurried back out to his car. Sidney’s suspicions deepened when he recognized the route Ovechkin was taking and wasn’t surprised when they stopped in front of the arena.

“This is the place where Crosby spends most of his time,” Ovechkin explained as they got out of the car. “So it’s the place where his presence is strongest.” He went around to the trunk and pulled out a duffel bag.

Sidney wished he could roll his eyes at that line of utter hogwash as they followed Ovechkin through the parking lot to the staff entrance.

Geno used his pass card to open the door and they stepped into the building. It was thankfully not completely dark inside, but just the stillness of the building when it was empty gave it an eerie feeling that made Sidney shiver. He didn’t think he’d ever felt like he didn’t belong in an arena before.

“We have to go down to the rink,” Ovechkin said decisively, letting Geno lead the way.

Out on the ice Ovechkin opened the bag and started setting up until they were standing inside a circle of them, the glow of the flames reflecting off the ice.

“Sit down,” Ovechkin instructed lighting a larger red candle and setting it in the centre of the ring. He sat down on one side of it and Geno sat down with Sidney in his lap on the other.

Sidney sneezed as Ovechkin pulled out a clump of some strong smelling plant and held it over the red candle, chanting something that sounded like backwards Pig Latin, his voice echoing in the empty rink.

The plant smoked heavily, the thick tendrils twisting around them, and Sidney felt a tingling sensation run through him. The world spun like it had when he’d first turned into a rabbit and suddenly he was human again, sitting naked on Geno’s lap in the middle of the arena.

“Sid!” Geno exclaimed happily, hugging him.

Ovechkin yelped and jerked back, knocking over some of the candles. “It actually worked,” he said looking stunned.

“You mean you weren’t sure?” Sidney demanded.

“No, I mean Sasha promised you’d turn back after a couple of days so I thought it would be fun…”

“What!” Geno exclaimed looking like he was thinking about hitting Ovechkin. “You were responsible?”

“Who else was involved?” Sidney asked not too sure he’d try and stop Geno from hitting Ovechkin.

“Maybe you’d like to get dressed first?” Ovechkin suggested. “Just Backstrom,” he muttered when they both just glared at him.

“I will have words with both,” Geno said glaring at Ovechkin as he pulled his jacket around Sidney before the two of them stood up. “About turning people to rabbits.”

“I wasn’t responsible for that!”

Geno silenced him with a glare. “Clean up and go away.”

Sidney was glad he kept a change of clothes in the locker room and dressed quickly. By the time they were out of the locker room Ovechkin’s car was gone and they had to call a cab back to Geno’s house. Sidney wasn’t looking forward to explaining the damage the candles had done to the ice.

“Glad you’re back Sid,” Geno said hugging him again once they were alone inside his house.

“Me too,” Sidney said returning the hug. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

Geno looked pleased. “Always,” he said. The moment was altered a second later when a yawn threatened to crack his jaw and Sidney laughed.

“Maybe it’s time for bed.” Sidney looked at the time, almost two.

Geno nodded sheepishly and they headed upstairs.

 

They slept in the next morning and it was afternoon before Sidney found the note tapped to the door. “It’s a bill from Ovechkin,” he said in disgust reading the cost of the candles and pizza. “Do you believe him?” he asked thoughtfully. “When he said he wasn’t responsible for turning me into a rabbit?” He looked up in time to see a guilty look on Geno’s face. “Geno.”

“Yes?” Geno asked trying to look innocent.

“What do you know that you’re not telling me?” he stood in front of Geno so he’d have to look at him.

Geno shifted uncomfortably. “It was me,” he blurted out under Sidney’s stare.

“What?” Sidney hadn’t been expecting that.

“I didn’t know what it would do,” Geno said looking upset.

“Then why did you give it to me?” Sidney asked.

“Fleury said…”

“This was Fleury’s doing? I’m glad I bit him.” Sidney scowled.

“No,” Geno was shaking his head. “He said shame we didn’t live in same house, it made me sad so I bought egg.”

“So…you bought a magic egg so that I’d move in with you?” Sidney asked trying to wrap his head around that. Geno nodded, still looking sad, and Sidney decided to take it as a sweet gesture instead of a confusing chain of events he didn’t really follow. “You could have just asked me.”

Geno looked at him hopefully. “You say yes?”

Sidney nodded. “Yes.” He was nearly knocked over by the exuberance of the 200 pound Russian grabbing him in a bear hug before jabbering something that Sidney wasn’t sure was Russian or English before running upstairs. Sidney stared after him then shook his head and started smiling. He still wasn’t entirely sure what had happened but it seemed to have worked out for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little late this was supposed to be posted over the Easter weekend but better late than never:) Anyone who liked this should check out Flyingintospace's Easter Bunny which is based on the same prompt of someone getting turned into a rabbit after eating a magical Easter egg.


End file.
